This Journey I call "LIFE"

Life has been quite a whirlwind these past few months. I've had some ups and I've had some downs....but at the end of the day...I'm still here. What can I say...it's part of the journey I am presently taking.

This journey is full of unexpected surprises and I tell ya I never know what to expect. I think that's what makes it so exciting...even if negativity is involved in it.

I'm a firm believer that we must find a way to turn the negative things we endure in life into a positive. I've made it through many tough times in my journey and I know that's what has shaped and molded me into the individual I am today.....as well as made me a stronger individual.

I believe that people come in and out of our lives for a reason and the majority of the time for reasons unknown.

Today I was pondering and came to realize that many of us aren't aware that we are born to die. So many times we take the little things in life for granted. We can be here today and gone tomorrow without warning. That's why I feel it is very important to always tell people how you feel. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them and how much you care about them because the opportunity may never present itself again.

So here it goes.....This is just the beginning

Time is passing me by. I finished my first block of classes since going back to school in the spring and I must say I've done well thus far.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that so much can happen in a month's time. In the past month I have....been to DC twice........got to see my bestest from Cali......met some great people :) and I'm happier than I have been in a long time.

Life is passing me by so quickly but I like it. I have a plan set for myself. I will say "Good Bye" to Michigan with in a year and a half to two years tops. I have a lot of potential to do so much with my life and unfortunately Michigan is not the place in which I can do that. Where will I end up? I have absolutely no idea. My family in Maryland wants me to move there so badly....yet in my heart I don't think that's where I'm meant to be. So pay attention....we'll just have to wait and see. I've been at a cross road for so long and finally life is going in the direction I want it to go.

Part of me is nervous and scared.....but that's a good thing. It means that change is on the horizon and change is definitely a good thing. So....I feel like I've been knocked the hell down. But I'll just get my ass back up!!!!

So hey folks I haven't gone anywhere I've just been a little busy and side tracked. But taking care of business.

Stay Tuned..............A continuation will soonfollow.

Back on track....

Have you ever felt like you've let time pass you by to a point of no return? I can't believe that it has been two months since my last post. Wow!!!!! So much has happened in such a short period of time. Let's see...I started my online classes which I must say have been kicking my butt. Yet, I know it will all eventually pay off one day. LOL. My birthday has come and gone and I am truly grateful and blessed with the friends and family that I have in my life. Those people are in my life because they want to be...and apparently that is where God has placed them. Once again.... I am truly blessed!!!!!

Oh yeah so I have an official blogger stalker. Let me just say this....ladies please please step your game up. It's about being independent and holding your own in this world. You shouldn't need a man to validate who you are. Also if a man doesn't want to be bothered with you....don't waste your time bothering him. Anytime you have to make negative comments about another woman that you don't know or know anything about.....shows that you lack self esteem and you are obviously insecure. It's crazy, insecure, jealous women like that who make the rest of us look bad. So anyway.....I just brush my shoulders off and let it go.

Work has been consuming a lot of my time but now I can finally breathe. All in all I must say that life has been good. I have been stress free, drama free and my health is in tip top condition. Ya girl has been doin' her thang!!!! So yes....I will toot my own horn. BEEP BEEP!!!!!

Well I just wanted to post an update and let the rest of the world know that I am breathing. Stay tuned for the next episode because it's about to get real deep. DUECES!!!!!!

Relationships & Dating: "How to Know When He's Just Not Feeling You"

Well...I was reading an online magazine article today...which I do often when I have some free time out of my day. I read it not to get the latest 411 on black celebs...but because every issue always has one of those non-fictional heart tugging stories. Anywho...let me get to my point.The article I read was titled "He's Just Not Feelin' You" from a male perspective. Well to be honest with you...some of the statements were right on point. I know this because I have experienced some if not most of the different type of men listed. A few stood out to me and so I'm in one of those...ummm hmmm I knew it kind of moods today. Now this is not a man bashing blog because I am not a man bashing woman. But I am a real woman who will speak her mind at all times, and at this point in time I am going to speak on men...black men in-particular. As a woman sometimes it is hard to know if a man is feeling you or if he's playing games. If he's really feeling you, in my opinion his actions should display that.

Brothas what is really going on?

Let's talk about "Mr.Telephone Man....Not"

The Author stated:
Not calling frequently or lessening communication after a while could be a sign that his interest is waning. But if you’re always the one initiating contact, take that as a clear sign: He’s just not feelin’ you.

My Feedback/Response:
I feel that communication is important in any relationship. Whether it's a titled or non-titled relationship. If distance lies between two people you have to tap into your resources to keep the flame still burning. When there is distance between two people you have to get creative and find ways to keep the flame alive while apart. Yet, if that flame is only burning from one end of the stick...maybe some re-evaluating needs to take place. If all I have is communication with a person then I try to take advantage of each and every opportunity regardless of how busy I may be. DAMN!!!!!

NEXT: "Mr. Forgetful One" (He doesn't keep his word or follow through)

The Author stated:
Not being able to keep one’s word leads to trust issues, and once that happens you can kiss any hopes for a harmonious relationship goodbye. Some people are naturally flighty, but that doesn’t absolve them of respecting your time. This may have more to do with character flaws than whether or not someone likes you.

My Feedback/Response:
Ok we are all guilty of forgetting things....myself included. But I must agree with the author on this one. I'm big on people keeping their word. If I say I'm going to do something...even something as little as returning a call or text....I do it. Granted it may not be done right away because we all become evolved in life as we know it. But it's all about respect. If you have respect for a person you won't allow yourself to forget things that are important to them even if it seems unimportant to you.

Now introducing "The Non-Family Guy"

The Author stated:
This one can go either way. For every guy that views women as trophies to show off to his buddies, there’s one that prefers spending quality time alone getting to know a woman he really likes. As for meeting family members, that’s a big step in any relationship, so unless you have an official title, don’t stress it. But beware the fella that appears to be purposely keeping you separated from his family and friends. That may mean he’s hiding something.

My Feedback/Response:
Myself I am very cautious about introducing a man that I am dating to my family/close friends. They are the closest connections to me and for me to do that means that I plan on having you around for a while. Now I feel that if you are in a relationship with a person you obviously are drawn to them in one way or another and that's why you have chosen to take that next step. If a man truly loves you and is in love with you...not only will his actions display that but he will not have a problem introducing you to and letting you be part of his inner circle. My ex did the complete opposite. He cancelled every time we were supposed to meet with my parents and there was always an excuse as to why I didn't meet those that were part of his "inner circle". Yet he loved me, was in love with me and wanted to marry me. SMH!!!! Get a clue. I think that meeting the family should be one of those things that is mutually agreed upon.

Moving on to "The Mystery Man"

The Author stated:
Everyone has a right to their own private life, but concealing your place of work and residence is not only odd, it’s a major red flag. Unless you’re dating a secret agent, there’s no reason for him to be so secretive about basic conversation topics. Sounds like someone has something to hide and you should go seek love elsewhere.

My Feedback/Response:
A lot of men tend to be very secretive when it comes to their personal life. But if you are dating someone and they don't want to reveal where they live or work then maybe it's time to move on because obviously they are hiding something from you. Been there and done that. I had a short dating relationship with a man in another city and what came out of his mouth sounded good, but the truth was revealed in the early stages. He told me where he worked and even where he lived. So when I went to go visit him at his home for the first time, guess who I met. His WIFE!!!!!! DAMN Liar!!! That's all I got to say about that.

Ahhhhh "The Commitment Phobe"

The Author stated:
Men have a tendency to take things slow—some slower than others—so he may just be enjoying the space you’re in and in no rush to “take it to the next level.” If you’re early in a relationship, there’s no reason for concern just because he’s not picking out baby names or getting fitted for a tux. But if you’ve put years into a man that has shown no interest in a future together then you may just be wasting time—his and especially yours.

My Feedback/Response:
Well taking a relationship to the next level is a big step for anyone. That's where you invest a lot of trust and your feelings for that individual have grown stronger. A lot of men and women are both scared of being committed. Whether it’s a fear of being hurt, holding on to the past or the mere assumption that if you commit yourself to this person they'll start talking marriage...in which you are not ready for. Ok you have some people that jump the gun like that....NOT I!!!!!! Yeah I'd like to get married...one day....but I want to make sure that it's with the right person. Marriage is sacred and forever to me. Ok I'm going out in left field a little but it doesn't take that long for you to figure out if you want to be committed to a person. If you don't see yourself with them in a committed relationship, don't waste their time or yours. People don't like to be stringed along. You should always be open and honest with your feelings with an individual. Like I said earlier...communication is important and it's one of the valuable keys to a successful relationship.

So I've given my input on the whole relationship/dating feedback in response to the article I read. When it comes to relationships/dating it's always important to be yourself, be honest and truthful. Just never waste your time on something that's not meant to be. If red flags start to pop up in your mind and you have a bad feeling about that person...maybe you need to cut your losses and just move on.

My words of advice: Never settle for less or lower your standards for anyone. Until next time....I'm out!

The Essence of Me

"The true essence of a woman is her ability to share her love with others"

I'd like to compare myself to a chameleon because I can easily adapt to any environment or situation in which I am placed. Ok so that doesn't necessarily make me different or any better than the next woman...but I know my my self worth. I am a woman with high self esteem and I am confident in all that I do. I don't need a man to be strong or justify who I am or what I am capable of. I am more driven than the average woman and the word "no" is just not acceptable in my vocabulary. Although being a double jeopardy, because of my sex and race I'm still a goal oriented woman with style and confidence. I have endured many triumphs in the past and present, yet I don't let that stop me from climbing to the top. I know where I come from and that is something I will never forget. So why is it that men always say they want a woman who can hold her own.....but choose to run after women who lack confidence, independence and self esteem. I know that I am a true D.I.V.A. (Divine, Intelligent, Versatile, Attribute). I love the poem "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou because it defines the true beauty of a woman. The true beauty of a woman is what lies beneath. A phenomenal woman is a woman who is confident and sure of herself. She is loving, caring, kind hearted and true. This poem defines who I am as a woman because I have much more to offer than what's on the exterior. There is a Phenomenal Woman that exists in each and everyone one of us. You must first look in the mirror and introduce yourself to her.


"Phenomenal Woman"
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them

They think I'm telling lies.
I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing of my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,

They say they still can't see.

I say It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

The palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

What I've learned in in half a decade.

Ever feel like you are at a crossroad in life and you don't know which direction to go? Well that would be me right now. I have so much ambition, motivation, determination and dedication yet I still feel as if I'm at a crossroad. If you would've asked me five years ago where do I see myself in the next five years???? I definitely wouldn't be where I am today.

Yet I know that where I'm at isn't all so bad. The past five years have brought me a lot of heartache and pain and it also brought me joy and happiness and I can truly say that I've found myself. I've grown mentally, physically and spiritually. I've learned that family doesn't necessarily consist of those who I'm connected to through a blood line or by marriage. I've learned that in order to make someone else happy that I must first be happy with myself.

I've discovered that some people come in your life for a particular reason and others are only here for a season. And yes.....patience truly is a virtue!!!!!! I've come to the realization that your life is what you make it......it's full of many advantages, disadvantages, trials and tribulations.....but it's still your life and you have control over the decisions you make.

In the past five years I've become wise beyond my years and along with that come’s maturity. I have taught myself to focus on me and to put me first in my own world. I've learned how to open up my heart in a way I never knew possible. This has allowed me to love way beyond measure. I now know how to accept my personal faults and find a way to turn all those negatives into a positive. I've been able to take a piece away from every relationship that I have with people that are in my life and use it as a learning tool. I now know how to accept myself for who I am and what I've become.

I have learned to have an open mind, think outside of the box and look at every situation from both sides of the fence. In the past five years I have become a better person period. I realize that we are born to die...and although death is a hard thing to deal with...we must all go through it at one point in our life. I know that I can't fix every problem and that there isn't always a solution to every problem. I know that it's okay to mess up, deal with it and move on.

What have I learned in the past five years of my life that will last with me forever?

I have learned that it's okay to make mistakes, to ask for forgiveness, always be myself at all times and to truly appreciate the gift of life that God has given me. With this life I can carry on a legacy that will truly never be forgotten.

Live

"Live each day as if it's your last, one day it will be"

I try to live by that quote. Sometimes I feel as if I could have done more in one day than I actually did. It's kinda like...why put off what you can do today for tomorrow. Granted tomorrow may never come for you. We as people make up so many excuses for ourselves as to why we didn't do this....or why we didn't do that. Now okay we all aren't going to react the way Queen Latifah did in the movie "Last Holiday"....but I'm sure it shed some light on people even though it was a fictional movie. Or like the movie the "Bucket List". These two men knew they were going to die and came up with a list of things they were going to do together/individually before they died. They came to the realization that they were more alive when they were dying than before they knew death was knocking at their door. It gives more meaning and purpose to the "live each day as if it were your last quote". I interpret it like this....we shouldn't take the little things for granted. Live life with no regrets...whether the circumstance or situation be good or bad. Know that all things happen for a reason. Always try to give everything you do 100%... if you are given a second chance next time try harder....but never give up. At the end of the day life is too short to complain about the "what if's" and the shoulda...woulda...couldas. Only you can do what you have to do....to get to where you want to be. I'm not where I want to be...not even that close....l but I know that I am on my way.

What is your Purpose?

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have"

What is your purpose? I've asked this question to many people and in return I get a very puzzling look and unsure response. Many people are unsure as to what their purpose in life is and others just don't know.

How do you discover your real purpose in life? I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist.

If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).

If you are unsure as to what your purpose is in life....take out a blank sheet of paper and at the top write down "My Life Purpose".

Underneath write down the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about what your purpose may be. Whether it be a sentence....or a short phrase. Continue to do this as many times as it takes. When you've finally figured it out....you will know because so much emotion will come over you that you may even begin to cry.

Once you've figured it out if you don't already know....then do some self reflecting. When I was younger someone asked me that very same question.....What is your purpose? My response was.....I dunno. Then I shrugged it off and let it go. Many years passed and that thought still lingered in the back of my mind until one day I asked someone that same question. I stopped.....paused.....and later pondered and realized that I then knew what my purpose was.

My purpose in life is to live each day as it arrives to me with no regrets. To help any and everyone I can to the best of my abilities. Accept rejection, live, learn and know when to move on. To give every obstacle and every challenge that comes my way 100%. To live each day as if it were my last and to have a lasting impact on every person that crosses my path.